new year, new me

with just a few days left until the start of the Islamic new year, i thought now would be a good time to reflect on all  a couple of the new changes i’ve been making. 

first of all, there is the new tidier me! i have a new bedroom now, so i can start from scratch instead of not even wanting to touch the draws crammed full of so much stuff i can’t even open them(btw i didn’t spend any money in the sales. i realised i just had too much stuff as it is and should get rid of some of that first. i do need a new coat though. especially as it was snowing for a bit today, did anyone notice!). i’m also going to put everything away as soon as i get home instead of dumping it all on my bed, and then dumping it all on the floor when i go to bed:)

and i also tidied my desk at work, and one of the students said she was going to monitor it for me to make sure it doesn’t get so messy that files fall on my head(again). i will file handouts as soon as i’m done with them, and will not dump extra handouts on my desk after a lesson until there’s so much paper i have to go use someone else’s desk to do my marking.

next thing i need to do is make bread.  after  following my sister around the house for a few days, begging her to make these light fluffy rolls she makes, i decided to just take her recipe book and have a go myself. excpet yesterday’s were a bit hard. actually, they were like rocks. but my family being my family ate them anyway:) but i’m not one to give up. i’m going to keep trying. i think i left them in the oven a bit too long. let’s just hope i don’t give anyone a stomache ache!

oh and the rainbow colours are just because i have to go mark after this, and i’m trying to avoid working

holidays

i spent the fist few days moping around, missing work and feeling very bored,  but then managed to catch up with friends i hadn’t seen for months. one of them had a baby two months ago. didn’t even realise it had been that long. luckily she’s not the type to hold a grudge, which is why i love her! she even said “it’s ok you don’t have to say anythign about the baby, i know you don’t like them.” now, if only everyone was that considerate.

then went shopping with some cousins/family friends. small tip: stay fa—r away from the Next sales on boxing day.  some of those shoppers are crazy, crazy people. and i learnt the art of multi tasking. actually, i learnt i have no idea how to shop and push a pram at the same time. when you turn to look at the clothes, the little darling, have grabbed onto something or someone. and once, she even escpaed from the chair. now, that is one cute kid at a cute age. she can even say my name! anyway, if you don’t have kids yet, spend as much as you possibly can beforehand, because you don’t get a chance afterwards. i didn’t buy a single thing!

a trip down memory lane

5 childhood memories

tagged by the cute cute cute iMuslim

1. earliest vivid memory is getting lost in blackpool when i was 6. my older cousins were supposed to be looking after me but told me to wait in one place and they would bring me back an icecream. but i got impatient and decided to go buy icecream myself. i got to the stall ok, and then discovered you can’t buy icecream with 2p. i think he gave me one anyway haha. after that i realised i couldn’t find my way back so stared crying. this kind lady found me and took me back to her stall. when my dad found me, i was happily munching away on white chocolate mice and didn’t want to leave.

2.  first crush was on erm.. superman when i was about ten. i actually decided i wanted to marry superman because then i would be all safe and we could go flying for fun.

3.  first time i felt my heart would break was when my friend Samantha moved away. we were inseparable in reception class and did everything together. i even taught her the arabic alphabet and she refused to eat pork at dinner too. i used to cry myself to sleep everyday when she left. we promised to write as soon as learnt how. i should search her on facebook, but i can’t remeber her surname

4. when i was about nine  my mum was pregnant with my little brother. all the old women kept telling me to pray for a boy because i had “so many” sisters and only one brother to look after me. i said i wanted another sister to play with because my brother beat me up all the time and my sisters were more fun. i didn’t understand why people thought boys were better and still don’t!

5.  when i was about 14 my mum went to haj with my youngest brother. my dad was at home but it was my job to look after my younger sisters and get them ready for school in the morning. i thought i was all grown up and doing a really good job, but when my mum came back  the little brats starting crying saying i made them do all the chores and didn’t look after them properly. it didn’t help that they had nits and i hadn’t even noticed.

who shall i tag.. hhm

the knowledgeable american bedu

the beautiful amal

and the super sweet maryam  

i’m thinking..

sometimes thinking too much isn’t good for you.

at least, that’s the conclusion that i’ve come to recently. it’s easy to analyse and worry about something so much that you lose sleep over it. i don’t know why burying your head in the sand has such a bad rep, it’s actually very difficult to do. i think it’s a skill you have to acquire.

in a conscious effort to reduce my thinking time, i have decided to work, work work so there is no time left for anything else.

seriously, soemtimes you can worry yourself to an early grave and it could turn out that you had nothing to worry about. if you ask me, it’s better not to think about some things at all.

life lessons 3:friendship

today has been a strange day for me, and even though this post will probably make no sense to anyone else, i felt compelled to write this down. for me, it’s going to be one of those posts i’m going to want to keep looking back on to remind myself of how i felt today.

this is why i hate facebook

one of my colleagues took some pictures at work on the last day, as she was leaving. i’m generally very careful about taking pictures and who has access to them, but seen as she was Muslim, i thought it would be ok. but yesterday, i had a conversation with her. here is how it went.

me:hey, could you email me those pictures.

her: oh, they’re on facebook, have a look on there.

me: they’re on facebook? so anyone can see them?
her: so, what’s the problem? your picture’s available on ebs (college intranet service). how is that any different.

me: it is different..

her: why?look, i can’t take them down anyway, because they’re group pictures. don’t worry about it, you’re covered in it. anyway, bye.

so, am i being unreasonable? i just don’t like the idea of my picture being on the Internet. shouldn’t it be my choice?

i really want…

but the question is, do i really need?

i’m so sad

oh, i miss teaching:(

i’m so sad(in more ways then one)

why can’t i just be like normal people and hate my job?

i wonder what my students are doing? they better be doing an awful lot of praying because nothing else is going to help them on the 16th and 23rd of next month!

i even miss brian (not his real name but it’s not rocket science to work out what it is!) and his sole purpose was to make my life a misery.

“if you don’t give me my ema bonus, i’ll make your life a misery”

he didn’t get his ema bonus.

hhm i wonder what happens to that money when student’s don’t get it? because if it’s going spare then i’ll havvv–ee it!

that’s another thing. money. sigh. when i have long holidays i tend to go a bit mad with shopping. i have to buy something whenever i’m out- even it’s for someone else- otherwise i just feel depressed. i wish i could just window shop like some people can. noone is allowed to let me go shopping this summer ok? i don’t need anything. you have to shout at me.

luckily at the moment i’m going though an “inside” phase and don’t want to go out at all. i’m quite happy to stay inside a–ll day. like i don’t understand why people go out for coffee. i can make perfectly good coffee at home.  ooh i want a coffee machine. you can let me buy that…

at the supermarket

life lessons ..

baba: (the youngest one in case you’re wondering. we used to call her baba because she was born looking like a grandad. and she nags a lot)
anyway as i was saying, baba and i do the weekly shopping trip to Asda together sometimes. so, as usual we got the trolley together and of course she did the pushing. i have to exert my authority sometimes and besides, i’m wa–ay to posh to push:)

so we were happily trodding along and i was reading out from the list when…

me: ooh i want pot noodles

baba:pot noodles are not on the list

me: but i want them

baba: no. you don’t need them

me: i do, i take them to work

baba: no, you can make them yourself, they’re too expensive

me: but i’m paying!

baba: it’s still money. you can’t have them (as you can see i’m still working on exerting my authority)

and put them fox biscuits down as well. we can buy smartprice

(smartprice tastes like cardboard! i swear this girl would buy secondhand toilet paper if she thought she could get away with it!)

anyway while i was grumbling along, a little old lady jumps out of nowhere.

little old lady: excuse me do you know where the sugar is?

me: (still grumbling) do we look like shop assistants?

baba: (nudging me) oi! let’s help her find the sugar

me: i think it’s over there by the flour

baba: no they changed it(why do they keep moving things around in that place?)

me: ok, you go with the lady, i’ll check by the flour just in case.

on my way over to the flour aisle, i spot the pot noodles and use the opportunity to quickly stock up. scan and check there is no sugar there. walk happily back with my big bundle of pot noodles. to my surprise baba is still standing in the same place with the old lady, frowning disapprovingly

(in my absence)

baba: come on, i’ll take you to the sugar aisle

little old lady: no, no that nice young lady has gone to get some for me.

baba: no, trust me that’s my sister. she just does her own thing. i’ll take you.

little old lady: no, i’m sure she’ll bring some back for me. i think i’ll wait here for her.

baba (with folded arms) watches me skip merrily towards them with the pot noodles and no sugar. old lady looks disappointed and slightly confused.

baba: (still giving me evils) come on, i’ll get you some now.

little old lady finally has her sugar. she smiles at me happily without holding a grudge and attempts to say salaam.

baba: (at home to my sisters and sister in law) you wouldn’t beli–eve how mean hema was to this poor old lady at the supermarket

me: (hanging my head in shame) tis true, tis all true

ok, the point of all this… don’t get so caught up in your own pot-noodled fuelled bad mood and fail to help people when they need it.

life lessons, life lessons indeed..

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