hema’s sphere

this is why i hate facebook

Posted by hema on August 18, 2007

one of my colleagues took some pictures at work on the last day, as she was leaving. i’m generally very careful about taking pictures and who has access to them, but seen as she was Muslim, i thought it would be ok. but yesterday, i had a conversation with her. here is how it went.

me:hey, could you email me those pictures.

her: oh, they’re on facebook, have a look on there.

me: they’re on facebook? so anyone can see them?
her: so, what’s the problem? your picture’s available on ebs (college intranet service). how is that any different.

me: it is different..

her: why?look, i can’t take them down anyway, because they’re group pictures. don’t worry about it, you’re covered in it. anyway, bye.

so, am i being unreasonable? i just don’t like the idea of my picture being on the Internet. shouldn’t it be my choice?

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19 Responses to “this is why i hate facebook”

  1. NATASHAAMINA said

    Salaam Hema :),

    yes,I also think this should be your choice.Anyway,don’t worry to much about it.If you’re covered on this pictures,than the problem isn’t that big.Next time just make sure to ask the person who takes some pictures of you,what she’s going to do with them.

    I wish you a nice time,

    Natasa 🙂

  2. Snowdrops said

    so, am i being unreasonable?

    Nope.

    shouldn’t it be my choice?

    Totally.

    I have a friend of mine who’s put my picture up on her bebo. I told her to take it down… haven’t checked whether she has or not… but anyways, you should command (?) her to take your picture off no matter how covered you look in it; if that’s what you want. 🙂

    I’ve missed your blog. But hopefully, I’ll be on for a while 😀

    Wassalam

  3. ymiss said

    I actually agree with you there…and i’m a facebook user. If your going to put up pictures ask permission! You ask someone to be in a photo before you take it or you know your having your photo taken (generally) so what’s wrong with asking before you put it up for the world to see.

  4. 'liya said

    I would ask her to crop you out, it isn’t that hard, and if she doesn’t want to, you can offer to do it. You’re not being unreasonable at all. Not asking your permission is like plagiarism!

  5. Haleem said

    As far as I know if you are in a picture it’s technically your right unless it’s in a public place like a street or something and you are not the main focus. However you have to balance the unpleasantness that can occur should you try to force the issue, and be prepared that she’s not gonna do it anyways.

    Just another experience to learn from in life 😛

  6. Lucyp said

    Your friend should of asked your permission first so i would say you have every right to ask her to remove them.
    I did find your sentence ‘but seen as she was Muslim, i thought it would be ok’ quite alarming though.

  7. hema said

    natasssssssssshhhhhhaaaaaaa, sonowwwwwwwwwwyyyyyyy good to have you back, i’ve missed you both!
    hey snowy, are you looking forward to results day, just a few days left now:)
    snowy, i could ‘command’ her to take it down, but as haleem said, it depends on whether i want to make a big deal of it and risk causing an unpleasant situation.
    actually, in the end, i decided it’s worth it- she’s leaving anyway, and seen as she’s a facebook user and not a blogger i doubt we’ll keep in touch. harsh but true! and unlike some people **cough cough**ymiss cough cough**iMuslim** i don’t divide my online time between the two:)
    actually some people are saying that you need to log in to access the site and most people restrict access anyway, so maybe it will be ok. i’ve sent her an email reminding her to take it down. i don’t think she will, but i feel like i have done my bit at least.

    i can see it from her point of view though. liya, you said “Not asking your permission is like plagiarism!” but the problem is i’m not copyrighted!! i think she thinks i need to get over myself (not her words but the general gist) as noone really cares about the picture, and it’s not as if she’s put my name in flashing lights over it, it’s just a group picture.
    i think she also thinks that this shouldn’t be any different to having my picure taken for publicity or for a newspaper, as some hijaabis do, although personally i would avioid it then too. not that i’m saying it’s wrong, but if you think about it, if people think it’s ok to have your picture taken for a newspaper or a brochure etc, why should the internet be any different??

    lucyp- ‘but seen as she was Muslim, i thought it would be ok’
    well, i don’t think my non Muslim friends really understand why i wear hijaab(probably more my fault they don’t understand than theirs!)so i think i would have to explain why i wouldn’t want random guys to be able to access my picture. i’ve had to explain in the past, but i think they just think i’m being OTT. i just figured, as a Muslim this girl woul at least understand where i was coming from. obviously i was wrong, and i guess this issue isn’t even about Muslims but whether i have the right to ask her to remove it. it was her camera after all, and i let her take the picture

  8. mishymoshy said

    I think Lucyp was referring to your spelling/pronunciation. It should be “seeing” not “seen” as you would presumably pronounce it in your teppy accent 😀

  9. hema said

    seen, seeing hhm maybe. you should get over your grammar obsession!

    anyway, she replied back to my email:

    hi hun. sorry didnt realise you felt so strongly about it. but its only my friends that can view pics etc, do you still want me to remove it? maybe see u thursday. when are the students in to collect results?

    which just goes to show i should deal with a problem instead of remabling on about it. she was in a rush dealing with students that day as well.i really shouldn’t assume the worst in people 😦 lesson learnt. i’ve added her to my msn contacts, maybe we will keep in touch after all!

  10. Shahrzad said

    You are right Hema, It is your choice and that girl did wrong job. She should take your permission..

  11. Lucyp said

    I the opposite of whatever a spelling obsessive is, i always say the message is more important that the delivery.
    What i meant by my alarm at the sentence was the insinuation (probably in my own mind) that anybody other than a Muslim would just use the pic without asking first.

  12. hema said

    “i always say the message is more important that the delivery”
    exactly! and that’s coming from an English teacher, i should probably be shot or soemthing!
    i know that’s what you meant, i’m sure mishy did as well, she just likes to wind me up!
    …..”anybody other than a Muslim would just use the pic without asking first”
    i hope i cleared up what i meant. i would hate for you think that. i grew up surrounded by non Muslims, i know you guys are not all bad:)

  13. Lucyp said

    No problems Hema, as i said, it was me reading into something that wasn’t there. All cleared up.

  14. mishymoshy said

    “know that’s what you meant, i’m sure mishy did as well, she just likes to wind me up!”

    Teehee *cheeky grin*

  15. Sumera said

    Nope you’re not being unreasonable. Even if you are covered up, (thats besides the point, so is who took the pic, Muslim or otherwise) it doesnt mean you want your pix splayed on Facebook!

  16. I totally understand what you mean and how you feel. It is your choice! You can get her to cut out your picture on photoshop.

  17. Lynn said

    Don’t random people see you when you are out in public?

  18. S. Irfan said

    AA,
    You are absolutely right as it is your right to decide who has your picture. Alhumdulillah, at least you were modestly dressed in it. Please checkout this new website for the Muslims of USA by the Muslims of USA called ww.MuslimsofUSA.com! It is a secured website and has been built to offer a Halal option to the FACEBOOK users. Another domain redirect for it is http://www.HalalFaceBook.com.
    See you there inshaAllaah…
    Kind regards,
    S. Irfan

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