hema’s sphere

how not to teach(2)

Posted by hema on January 8, 2008

1. i’m in red

students are in blue

classroom control?

1. aarrggh there’s a wasp in the room

ok noone is allowed to panic. screaming is strictly forbidden. everyone stay in their seats and get on with thier work. it will be gone soon.

but hema, it’s right near me.

honestly, it’s just a little wasp. you don’t have to be such little weaklings about it.

a ridiculous amount of screaming

oh go for a break, i’ll get rid of it.

(when the students came back)

it’s right near my eyes, it’s gonna sting.

you can open your eyes it’s gone.

2. do you want some help?(lifting the projector)

no! honestly. what is it with men assuming women can’t do anything for themselves. it’s like..ouch ouch

are you ok


are you sure because you’re bleeding a bit

3 so, there is 1 hour and 15 minutes for this section. so, if you divide your time equally, that’s 45 minutes per section.,, what’s up john?

your maths is wrong again

4. (giving out handouts) ouch(tipping up over student’s bag)


on the way back ouch (giggling again)

giving out second set of handouts ouch

you know jack, you could just move your bag.

i did think of doing that, but then i thought this way was funnier.

5. giving out homework at the end of the lesson

ouch sh*****

haaww and we’re so careful not to swear in your lesson because we heard you hate it so much


8 Responses to “how not to teach(2)”

  1. hema said

    you guys can laugh all you want but i invite you to write down an embarrassing moment from work before you do.:)

  2. iMuslim said


    Brilliant! You tell them really well, too.

    You know, when it comes to sharing embarrassing moments, my minds always goes strangely blank. 😀

    My most embarrassing moments at work have usually occurred cos i didn’t know something that i should have. I don’t think I’ve had that many, thinking about it. My days of pure and utter beetroot-red shame, were at school. And i think you’d have to drug me with sodium pentathol to get me to spill on them! 😦

    I’ll tell you one though, to be fair. It happened during my first year at school. I used to be a right keen bean, and sit in the front row, on the desk in front of the teacher. My Geograpy teacher used to walk around the front of the room a lot whilst teaching, and sometimes would lean against his desk, facing the class, so he’d be right in front of me. Cos he was so tall, his feet would sometimes reach under my desk, and i think a couple of times i knocked against them with mine, by accident. But then he’d shame me in front of the whole room by accusing me of playing footsy with him!


    He even told my parents about it when they went to see him at parents’ evening.


    I was so innocent, and easily shamed back then… aka a soft target. Sob. 😦

  3. 'liya said


    My most embarassing moment happened 2 weeks ago when I was rushing to class (I was late, what else is new) and struggling to unlock the classroom door (my students were waiting outside the door) when I dropped my bag a bit and a pad fell out! I quickly scooped it up and put it bag in my bag but the damage was done *sigh*

  4. mishymoshy said

    I don’t understand ‘Liya, isn’t it normal to have a notebook?

  5. mishymoshy said

    *the penny drops*



  6. hema said

    iMuslim, you are cuteness personified. i wish i could have taught you, but i probably would have spent all my time pulling your ickle cheeks
    liya haha ok you win so far i think.
    mishy- i am so tempted to say something, but i think i will let this one pass;)

  7. *gasps in horror* Mishy!!! i’m speechless!!! i didn’t expect such clutsiness from you!!

    As regards to the post it’s hilarious, kids are hilarious, at work the other day this boy was hitting a much younger and smaller boy on the head, it was in a joky way but i could tell it hurt him so i told him to stop it he said “but he’s my friend, i’m doing it cus i like him!”, he nevertheless walked off only to be replaced by one of the other boys who began stroking the aforementioned young boys head saying ” look i’m stroking him because he’s my friend”. At this point i was very tempted to say he’s not a dog you know!! but i knew they would twist it around and interpret it the worng way (hhaaawww she called you a dog!!) so i just had to shake my head and laugh at the whole situation….

  8. Saabirah said

    Oh my goodness do your students actually pass with a periodically klutzy bimbon for their teacher?! 😀

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